Magic Mondays Part 1: Psilocybin Microdosing for Complex PTSD (with Mighty Micro)
One of the biggest misconceptions about trauma is that is can be cured or healed entirely in a therapist’s office. I’m not saying therapy doesn’t have its place, but trauma lives in one’s nervous system and not in the brain. Visual and somatic flashbacks are a result of a nervous system default gone awry. Triggers are physiological reactions to stimuli that are usually employed before the brain can catch up. As someone with Complex PTSD, I’m no stranger to therapy modalities outside of conventional talk therapy as I’ve done nutritional healing, somatic releases, journaling, art therapy, inner child work, and hell even some plant therapy via cannabis as that special plant made me access my feelings in a healthier way and work through some stuff. And yet, despite the measurable progress I’ve made over the past year or so I still felt stuck more days than not. Decision paralysis meant nothing was getting done. Then a wave of anxiety and dread would wash over me causing me to continue to not get stuff done as needed but fall into a deeper collapse. Regardless of progress my nervous system and I had made on this healing journey, in early 2025 I was still too frozen, anxious, often sleepless, not being able to consistently feel my appetite, and it was feeling impossible to catch up let alone get ahead. Earlier this spring I felt terrified knowing that I was healing, and yet it wasn’t happening fast enough and I genuinely wasn’t sure what else I could do that was within my reach. I had a passing thought about microdosing psilocybin but wasn’t sure how to go about it. And then I got connected with the good folks at Mighty Micro who I’ve been working with and they have helped me out a great deal with what to expect when starting both a microdose and beyond journey (yes, I went beyond microdosing but we’ll get there in a few weeks as this is a series and not a one off post) so I’d like to share what I’ve both been learning and experiencing with you all.
If you’re skeptical- I get it! Nothing psychedelic was on my bingo card until earlier this spring when I had that passing thought about microdosing and that was only because I’m a huge neuroscience geek and have read for over a decade about how great psilocybin is for trauma. And even then, I had some reservations. After all, all of my dreams are nightmares or stress dreams and every time I’ve taken NyQuil I have Armageddon dreams in sepia tone- so anything psychedelic felt like an unsafe roll of the dice. I know I'm not alone in this as I’ve spoken to many of my friends about what I’ve been doing over the past several weeks and many are curious but they have similar fears I had. While I would never push anything on anyone (as that would be the opposite of being trauma informed) I would like to share how psilocybin has been helping me because I’m honestly blown away by both how my freeze is melting and what the process is actually like because it is both nothing like and yet everything that I expected. As I’m publishing this as I’m starting week 6 and I’ve been more productive in these 5 weeks than I have been in years. My industrious side is finally re-emerging in a grounded way (read: not a panicked, masking, trauma response form of being a workaholic). I’m also managing anxiety a lot better or at least moving through it more quickly.
Before I share what I’ve been experiencing, let’s first get on the same page about what microdosing even is vs what it is not!
What is microdosing? Does it get you high?
Microdosing is when you take a small amount of psilocybin (usually in the 100-300mg range but you can go higher depending on how your body responds). This is not enough to make you trip because you typically need over 3g to do that (although some in-between stages can bring some shifts in colors and sounds but we’ll get there when we get there here on Magic Mondays as this is a series and I did some experimenting). You will not get high though, no.
Are there side effects?
Yes, but not in a bad way. You may feel something or nothing. Everyone is different but for me I felt things right away but it’s not like getting high. I took my first microdose very early one Tuesday morning after not sleeping enough I noticed the colors on plants feeling more vibrant. I actually found this neat and comforting and it started to open me up to the idea of maybe doing a bigger trip (a hero’s journey as it’s called) one day. I felt some euphoria too. But also, after two hours I fell asleep on my couch for an hour which shocked me because despite the chronic sleepiness from barely sleeping, I never nap. Psilocybin works with your nervous system to unlock parts of you that are buried that need to be addressed, and sometimes it’s physical (I napped soooooo much within my first two weeks of microdosing - and it felt good versus making me more groggy which was wild for me). We’ll talk more about emotions that come up when we discuss weeks 2-3 of microdosing next week here on the blog, but generally speaking the first week is fun because you feel a little lighter on your feet and may find more beauty or whimsy in nature or in the world. But again, it’s not like getting high. When I’m feeling euphoric, tired, or even like something I can’t put my finger on how I feel, I still feel very in pocket.
How do you microdose? How often? When?
Conventionally, there’s a few ways to do this. The most popular models for microdosing are doing it either every other day or doing 4 days on and 3 days off. I was instructed to start first thing in the morning. I began with the 150mg capsules. Being eager, I did 4 days on and 3 off for the first two weeks but ultimately changed to every other day (which I’ll explain why I did that in next week’s post).
Setting an intention is also a solid thing to do when microdosing. Psilocybin will do its thing regardless, but it’s good to be an active participant (or at least that’s how I understand it). The mind/body connection is real so even just having an intention in anything in life can make you more present and in your body so microdosing is no different. I’ve been largely working the intention of “who would I be if I didn’t have so much trauma weighing me down and holding me back” or some variation of that. It’s not about magic and the so-called law of attraction but grounded, healing, and transformative intentions that you want to access but feel blocked from internally. And I’ve been feeling those layers peeling back and feel like I’m slowly but surely meeting my most grounded self.
That said, if you have Complex PTSD and are reading this: start with the lower doses (like this 100mg gummy) and maybe take a dose in the later morning or early afternoon. Speaking for myself, I was shocked that I had any reaction (the euphoria, the tiredness, etc) at 150mg because for some reason I just assumed I’d need more to feel it (not even sure why I felt that way). Upon doing some research I found that because Complex PTSD is a nervous system disorder, any stimuli can be stimulating because we just feel things more intensely and psilocybin is no exception. That doesn’t mean tripping, that doesn’t mean bad feelings, nor was anything I experienced remotely overwhelming or negative. We just have extra processing we need to do (because of course we do) so less can be more, which is in part as to why psilocybin makes me a little sleepy (though that is improving as the weeks have been going by). In my experience first thing in the morning was a little jarring. I respond way better when I do it in the afternoon or very early evening (careful as psilocybin even at micro levels can be mentally stimulating so not always the best to take before bed). Especially since my microdose journey encourages me to sleep more, first thing in the morning is not the best for my system when trying to wake up. And as someone who’s a big advocate of the other type of plant medicine, it is my mission to normalize that nothing is a one size fits all and while microdosing doesn’t get you high it’s probably best to do it when you don’t have a huge obligation to get done so you can observe how your body feels and just roll with it (at least at first).
What do you do when microdosing?
In theory even if you do nothing besides set an intention psilocybin will do it’s thing. For instance, I immediately noticed within the first day or two that I was observing my thoughts more versus being anxious in them or having a reaction to them. Meaning, if I realized I was behind in something or forgot to do something, instead of feeling shame or panic leading to a shutdown I just observed that something needed to be done, I promised myself I would get it done, reminded myself that I’m coming back from my nervous system being on fire, nothing I’m doing “wrong” is not without reason, and that this is a good excuse to keep working on not being such a perfectionist.
Whoa.
Before, even this spring when I was up 18 lbs and almost not technically underweight anymore ( and after 2 years of also healing my emotional and mental health slowly) I didn’t have that type of centered clarity. Instead my stomach would turn to knots, my body would tense, and I would feel shame or anxiety that would fog my ability to act and get things done. Again, within the first few days I started being a lot kinder to myself without even trying or intending to be, which was pretty cool.
It is better, however, to try to build some neuroplasticity through psilocybin with intentions. You don’t have to be a perfectionist, but if you’ve been experiencing long term freeze like me it’s good to try and send one email. If you’re looking for a job don’t avoid it- at least look for 5 minutes. If you are working on a project you keep putting off or need to exercise or whatever it is you need to be doing but aren’t, try to override freeze for even 5 minutes. You don’t have to complete anything. You are not trying to be perfect at it. Just do the thing for a few minutes to prove to your system that nothing awful happens and let the psilocybin record that into your nervous system so you feel safer doing tasks in the future. Trust me, I know how uncomfortable it is to do the thing when freeze is arresting you. I kicked and screamed a lot on the days where I had to override freeze while microdosing. But, it works. 5 minutes starts to turn into longer stretches of time. In the coming days your system automatically wants to check email because it’s less uncomfortable to just take a look than let it pile up. When you try to even just do a few moments of living the life you wish you could live, a small snowball starts rolling down the hill in the name of neuroplasticity and eventually gravity starts doing the work for you.
What can I expect in the first week of microdosing?
I will only speak to my experience here, but from what I have researched my reactions are pretty common.
Dreams are going to get more vivid and random. They’re not all bad (even if you have bad dreams, but candidly I had a weird one or two in the first few days). I remember when I napped right after my first microdose I woke up not remembering anything I dreamt but knowing my brain was nonstop on (despite that I was out cold otherwise!) and everything just felt scrambled. It felt like I’d wake up most days feeling like my brain was searching for something or connections were being made but it was all too abstract to know what even happened in my dreams. But I could tell in the first week that I was dreaming more and also dreaming some very vivid dreams (when not having the scrambled dreams).
Neutral memories flash back to you. In the first week of taking psilocybin as a treatment a thunderstorm rolled in and suddenly I vividly remembered being 3 or 4 and watching storms for fun on my front porch of my childhood house. I had long forgotten I did that but suddenly I was somatically back there and felt an urge to watch the storm from my porch again. I don’t think there’s much connected to this memory. It mostly made me happy but it was largely neutral in all honestly. I had a few memories like this pop up and none were breakthrough or “aha moments” but just being more connected to parts of my life that had less trauma that got buried somehow. It felt like more holistic inner child work of bringing the entire picture of who you were into focus and not just want went wrong or what that child needs.
Feeling more at peace and/or at ease. This happened quickly for me. Even on day 1 I wasn’t as tense to talk to my legitimately creepy neighbor as I usually am and found a graceful way to exit the conversation quickly. Other people’s nonsense quickly stopped bothering me. To be fair, other people’s nonsense has been bothering me less and less throughout my healing journey but this felt graduated to genuinely letting other people’s BS go and not thinking twice about it.
You’ll get more observant. I mentioned earlier appreciating nature more and that’s because with less noise in my head it was easier to simply observe and notice the patterns in leaves or flowers more. On day two of microdosing I noticed my shoes sounded loud on the pavement, which may be true but is a neutral thing I never really noticed or thought about. It’s so easy to not be present in this complicated modern life and even more so if you have CPTSD, so it kind of felt like my senses were waking up in a more holistic way. I also noticed in the first week a lot of tension in my shoulders in a way that felt different than normal body tension and aches. I just observed, “Oh, I do have a lot of tension here. Especially on the right side. Interesting…” and kind of let it go. It felt like I was just validating that I’m still recovering physically from CPTSD and all of the lovely complications that have come with it. I was meeting myself with where I was at and moved on. The tension went away not long after I acknowledged it too, which I found interesting. Another day I actually felt full and satisfied after eating, which almost never happens because my appetite is so out of whack that sometimes even when I’m eating I don’t eat enough due to evergreen nerves, muscle memory of eating less, and whatever else has been helping my system misfire for over 3 years. But early in week one I felt full and it felt awesome. I’m assuming that was being recorded in my nervous system as being safe (to eat completely) in my system.
The urge to be productive turns on, but you may be too physically tired to act on it (in week 1). A lot of us with CPTSD know that not only is the mind/body connection real, but sometimes the mind and body get disjointed and works against each other. Now, several weeks in I feel everything working together more. But in that first week my brain was super alive and ready to live life but the body was still playing catch up and was too tired to act on it. Psilocybin is amazing and when taken in large doses it can be “magical” but either way it’s not magic in that it’s not a silver bullet. Healing takes time (as we all begrudgingly know) but while psilocybin can speed things up immensely, it’s not going to be an overnight miracle. But I took the urge to be productive as a good sign even if I was stuck in the liminal space of not being able to act on it but I saw it as movement towards to the goals I have all the same.
Even if you’re not being productive in the ways you want, you may be productive in other ways. One morning I was debating what to do because I had a long list of things to do. But instead of being anxious about it, I just started doing the dishes. I didn’t zone out out on the couch in decision paralysis over if I should email or edit something. I didn’t know which one was the priority, so while I thought it over I did something else that needed to be done and did the dishes despite still being tired and not even entirely ready to start my day. If you’ve been frozen for a while you’ll understand how miraculous that would feel- and it did feel like a damn miracle especially being so early in the morning! Since then, it has become more tolerable for me to do something, anything, then get frozen for more than an hour or so.
Texting is less of a chore. Emails can be scary (fair enough) but texting friends should be fun, right? Look, over the past few years I’ve become a flaky communicator. My nervous system for years has found everything overwhelming so I shut down and avoid a lot, even things I want to be doing. Even friends I love sometimes don’t even get left on read but just left in my inbox waiting for me to feel ready to open and respond to. 5 weeks in I’m still having some days where I drag my feet, but lately it’s been because I’m busy or have a health snag- not because I’m avoiding (for the most part). Within the first several days I’d just open my phone and be like, “I have to listen to Miranda’s voice memos. I want to hear what she was to say so I’m going to do that now.” Or, “Oh, I have to text Ryan or Chauncy back because I value them and need to stop being so time blind repeatedly with messaging them!” in the most neutral, nonjudgemental way ever. Just labeling that I need to do this thing and I want to do this thing, so I did the thing. Seriously, within the first week the ice started melting with me regarding this.
Final thoughts on the first week and what’s to come:
I was shocked on how quickly things were improving. It’s not that I had a “brand new life” or could easily tackle a lot- full disclosure. Again, there are no silver bullets. But I could feel things shifting internally and slowly some behaviors were changing too, which gave me a lot of hope going into week 2. Next week I’ll talk about how weeks 2-3 went and later this week I’m going to have a supplementary post about stacking doses and experimenting with higher range microdoses because that’s an important piece of the puzzle going forward that feels like a separate thought from this post. Please follow for more- below is my Linktree with all socials where I will also be posting mini videos about the experiences I’ve been having (plus at least two long form videos on YouTube are coming) so stay tuned. And please check out the company, Mighty Micro, that I’ve been working with below if you haven’t already clicked some of the links. I wouldn’t have worked with them if I didn’t trust them because I had some anxiety about psilocybin and they’ve been nothing but on the up and up. As someone who has moved back into the influencing space semi recently and have had some varied experiences with different companies, I give Mighty Micro a 6/5 star review as a company as a whole AND their products speak for themselves, so if you are into or are wanting to get into psilocybin for micro or hero’s doses, I cannot recommend them enough.
Happy Magic Monday,
Blair